endings and beginnings

As 2008 comes to an end, so does our blog. Now that we are beginning our life as a family of 4, there is not much time to blog. In 2009, we're going to be focusing all our energy on Eli and Claire. We're trying to give Eli as much attention as we can, because we're still working on his attachment, which right now is not as strong as we would like for it to be. At times, he still pushes us away. We want him to feel safe and secure, and to really trust us. We love him so much.

This blog was meant for Eli, as a record for him of our adoption journey, so it has served its original purpose. When I can find a moment, I'm going to have it printed as a book for him to have and read when he is older.

I'll still be reading other blogs when I have a chance. Thanks so much to everyone who read this blog and shared their comments with us. The love and support meant so much to us, especially when we were in Moscow and again when Claire was born.

Best wishes to all for a very happy and healthy 2009!

she's here

Claire Elizabeth

Born Sunday December 7 at 12:34am (by unplanned c-section)
8 lbs. 2 oz.
21" long
We thank the Lord for blessing us with such a healthy and beautiful baby.

(This photo was taken today, at 5 days old.)

less than 12 hours now

We're going to the hospital in less than 12 hours. My labor induction is scheduled for 6:30am. My mother picked up Eli at 4:30pm. He's only been gone for a few hours, but I already miss him terribly. It's too strange without him here. I won't see him again until Monday (when I come home from the hospital if I don't need a c-section). Since he spent the first 3 months of his life in a hospital, we decided that he wouldn't come to the hospital to visit me. He gets so upset around doctors and medical settings, and we don't want to cause him any additional trauma. R will see him Sunday afternoon, when he and my mother switch. He'll come home to rest and spend time with Eli, and my mother will come to the hospital to see us. (It's amazing to think that the baby will be here then!)

Please pray for Eli, and that this experience doesn't affect his attachment to me. I've been worried about that. For the last 2 weeks, he has had a strong preference for Daddy. If R is around, I don't exist. Intellectually, I understand attachment, but emotionally, it's SO hard. It's frustrating, because I want to snuggle him and hold him and kiss him, and he doesn't always want that from me at this point.

God has taken care of us all during this pregnancy. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, as we welcome our precious daughter.

this weekend

I had my tests today. The baby is ok, but I still have not dilated, so they scheduled an induction for first thing Saturday morning. I will be past 41 weeks at that point. R and I are not thrilled about the induction, but we are relieved to know this pregnancy will be coming to an end soon and that she will be here with us soon.