endings and beginnings

As 2008 comes to an end, so does our blog. Now that we are beginning our life as a family of 4, there is not much time to blog. In 2009, we're going to be focusing all our energy on Eli and Claire. We're trying to give Eli as much attention as we can, because we're still working on his attachment, which right now is not as strong as we would like for it to be. At times, he still pushes us away. We want him to feel safe and secure, and to really trust us. We love him so much.

This blog was meant for Eli, as a record for him of our adoption journey, so it has served its original purpose. When I can find a moment, I'm going to have it printed as a book for him to have and read when he is older.

I'll still be reading other blogs when I have a chance. Thanks so much to everyone who read this blog and shared their comments with us. The love and support meant so much to us, especially when we were in Moscow and again when Claire was born.

Best wishes to all for a very happy and healthy 2009!

she's here

Claire Elizabeth

Born Sunday December 7 at 12:34am (by unplanned c-section)
8 lbs. 2 oz.
21" long
We thank the Lord for blessing us with such a healthy and beautiful baby.

(This photo was taken today, at 5 days old.)

less than 12 hours now

We're going to the hospital in less than 12 hours. My labor induction is scheduled for 6:30am. My mother picked up Eli at 4:30pm. He's only been gone for a few hours, but I already miss him terribly. It's too strange without him here. I won't see him again until Monday (when I come home from the hospital if I don't need a c-section). Since he spent the first 3 months of his life in a hospital, we decided that he wouldn't come to the hospital to visit me. He gets so upset around doctors and medical settings, and we don't want to cause him any additional trauma. R will see him Sunday afternoon, when he and my mother switch. He'll come home to rest and spend time with Eli, and my mother will come to the hospital to see us. (It's amazing to think that the baby will be here then!)

Please pray for Eli, and that this experience doesn't affect his attachment to me. I've been worried about that. For the last 2 weeks, he has had a strong preference for Daddy. If R is around, I don't exist. Intellectually, I understand attachment, but emotionally, it's SO hard. It's frustrating, because I want to snuggle him and hold him and kiss him, and he doesn't always want that from me at this point.

God has taken care of us all during this pregnancy. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, as we welcome our precious daughter.

this weekend

I had my tests today. The baby is ok, but I still have not dilated, so they scheduled an induction for first thing Saturday morning. I will be past 41 weeks at that point. R and I are not thrilled about the induction, but we are relieved to know this pregnancy will be coming to an end soon and that she will be here with us soon.

not yet

Still no baby yet. I'm 40 weeks now, and I went to the doctor this morning. I'm having contractions, but they're not regular, and I'm only the tiniest bit dilated. She has not completely dropped into position. The doctor thinks it will be another week or so. My due date is tomorrow, but it looks like she'll be making her appearance in December. On Monday, I'm having yet another ultrasound (my 4th) to check the amniotic fluid level and a non stress test to make sure she is ok to keep waiting for labor to start. (I requested that they not induce my labor unless the baby is in distress.)

Even though I'm exhausted and my feet are really swollen, I'm ok with waiting. I want her to come when she's ready. I know the timing is all in God's hands.

My sisters sent me a diaper cake today! It is very cute, and I really like it!

(The little pink elephant says "I love my mommy"!)

Tomorrow is Eli's 1st Thanksgiving. We are so thankful that he is here with us, and that we were given the opportunity to be his parents. He is such a blessing to us, and we love him so very much.

Christmas for orphans

This is something that we support, and I wanted to share in case anyone else was interested:
http://www.christmasfororphans.com/

almost time but not quite

I'm 39 weeks pregnant today. I went to the doctor this morning, and nothing is happening so far. The baby has dropped, but only a tiny bit. She's not in the birth position yet. I haven't dilated at all. So, it looks like we'll make it to our due date of Thanksgiving Day or even a little beyond. That would be great for us. It is much easier for R to take time off work after Thanksgiving than before, so even though we know the timing of her birth is completely in God's hands, we're hoping I can carry her for another week or so.

Please keep us in your prayers, especially the baby.

some firsts

Eli's boo-boo has healed quite nicely. In only a week, it's almost gone. We were so pleased and relieved to see that his immune system is working so well, especially since it's still coping with the latent TB infection/INH medication.

He had some more firsts this week:

~ Sunday night, he had his first overnight stay. He spent the night with my mother. I was not ready to be apart from him overnight, but we had to try it before the baby is born, since my mother will be keeping him while I'm in the hospital. Even though he has stayed with my mother before during the day, I wanted to make sure he would feel comfortable overnight. He did amazingly well. She kept him on the same schedule that we follow at home, and when he came home the next day, he smiled when he saw me. He didn't get upset or melt down later that day or the next day, as he would have 3 or 4 months ago. I'm glad that he feels more secure.

R and I enjoyed our time together. We drove out of town and met my sister A. My last outing before the baby comes! We did a little Christmas shopping, and bought our first Santa Claus. Picking out presents for him and for the baby was so much fun. We had dinner together too. We had a great time, but it was strange to be out after dark! Even though we had a nice day, I missed Eli so much.

~ Today was Eli's first election. We took him with us when we went to vote this afternoon. His eyes were wide, taking it all in. He doesn't feel comfortable around people he doesn't know, and always cries, and today was no exception. R was about halfway through his ballot when Eli started crying. He stopped as soon as we left the building though. Even though he didn't understand what was going on, I'm glad that he still had the chance to see his parents cast their votes. It is exciting to think he is a citizen now, and will one day cast his own vote.

~ He can now point with his index fingers on each hand. He has been pointing with his whole hand, but now his fine motor coordination has developed enough that he can point with one finger!

I went to the doctor today. I'll be 37 weeks tomorrow. Getting close to the end now. Soon Eli will be a big brother! My uterus is still measuring a little large, which means I still have excess amniotic fluid. I'll be having yet another ultrasound next week (the 3rd). They want to measure how much fluid I have, as well as see her size and position. She has been extremely active today, with lots of movement. Please pray that she continues to be healthy as we wait for her arrival in a few weeks.

owie

Eli had a full day today. R took care of him all day so that I could sleep. (He is a wonderful husband and father!) I'm 35 1/2 weeks pregnant now. I have huge swollen feet, and I'm exhausted all the time. Mobility and energy are very limited. When I was upstairs resting, I heard Eli laughing and laughing. It turns out he was playing soccer for the 1st time! They were kicking the ball around, and he thought it was wonderful. Eli had played ball before, but just rolling on the floor or throwing. He had never used his feet to move the ball before.

This afternoon, R took him outside, and they were kicking the ball around in the grass. Eli fell, and scraped his upper lip. He cried, but calmed down when R picked him up. He really loves his daddy. R carried him inside. He was no longer crying and was calm. R and I were a lot more traumatized than he was! We cleaned the blood off his little face, and gave him lots of hugs and love. We got the Boo Boo Bunny out of the fridge, but he only wanted that for very short time. He held it on his lip himself, and that was adorable. We gave him some Motrin for the pain, and then he was ready for his bath. I was glad that we were able to comfort him.

He is very bonded to his daddy right now. Because of the pregnancy, I'm not able to do as much with Eli as I wanted, like getting down on the floor to play or running around outside. Every day, R takes care of him in the late afternoons and early evenings. They go for a stroll around the neighborhood, run around the backyard, sit on the floor and build towers with blocks, and R gives him his bath every night. They have fun together, and Eli loves being with his father. It's amazing how God's plan unfolds. If I had not been pregnant, R and Eli would not have had as much time together alone, and their bond would not be as strong as it is now. It makes me happy to see how close they are. Eli completely trusts his daddy to take care of him.

Eli is teething right now too. He has 2 teeth coming in on the bottom, one on each side. I know it has hurt, but it hasn't slowed him down much. We keep offering him the teething ring from the freezer, but he'll only use it for a minute or two. He doesn't like the teething biscuits at all. He does like the baby toothbrush, and will chew on that. He has been trying to say "teeth" for the last few days. It comes out "tee" but we know what he means!

Ouch! You can see the scrape above his lip. My poor baby!

His adorable Halloween pajamas! His left hand is blurry because he's waving at Mommy!

6 months home

6 months ago today we came home with our beloved Eli!

He had his 1st late night tonight. Since we've been home, we haven't been anywhere at night, especially since he normally goes to bed around 7:00 or 7:15pm. We had an appointment at 8:10pm to have our picture made for the directory at church. It was the earliest appointment we could get. He did really well, considering how sleepy he was. The only time he cried was when the photographer suggested that he sit on a table instead of on my lap. He wanted one of us to hold him the entire time, which is a positive sign of attachment. The pictures turned out pretty well, and were our 1st formal photos as a family, which was a nice way to celebrate being home from Russia for 6 months.

Eli was so cute riding in the car. He looked at all the lights while he sucked his thumb. As soon as we got home, we put his pajamas on and put him in his crib. He was asleep immediately! It was almost 9:00pm, so I hope he sleeps well and doesn't feel tired tomorrow.

leaving the orphanage in Kolomna on April 15, 2008

6 months later, a much happier baby!

the word of the week

We finally have a word! Eli has said "mama" and "dada" and "hey" but now we have our 1st real word. For the last 3 days, he has been saying "up" when he wants to picked up! He had said "up" before, but not consistently and not in the right context. Now he'll say it when he wants us to put him on the couch so he can look out the large picture window in our living room. It is so cute! We are giving him lots of positive reinforcement when he says it, to keep encouraging him to talk more. When we were doing our home study, our social worker warned us that it might take him longer to talk because I would be meeting his every need, and he would have no reason to talk. I think that has happened to a certain extent. He communicates so much to me without having to talk. I'm looking forward to when he does talk though, and can share more of his thoughts and feelings with us.

Today he had his 30th dose of INH (the medication he is taking for his latent TB infection). Only 48 more doses to go! All things considered, he is tolerating it well, but it does cause his appetite to be less than it normally would be. We were worried that he had lost weight, but when we weighed him, he was the same, thank goodness. I'll be so glad when he doesn't have to take this medication any longer.

Every night, before I go to bed, I go in and check on him. He always looks so beautiful. I stroke his hair and rub his back a little. Seeing him lying there in his crib, with Mr. Snuggly, sleeping so peacefully, it's hard to believe that he was ever in a Russian orphanage. He is our precious miracle, and we love him so very much.

6 random facts about me

I've been tagged by Kar! So now I have to pass along 6 random facts about myself. This is harder than it looks!

1. R and I got married on the 19th anniversary of our 1st date. It was definitely God's plan for us to be together, but it took us a few years to understand that and work out the details!

2. I love being a SAHM! I never knew I would enjoy it so much. I love spending time with my son.

3. I once met Lyle Lovett! Many years ago, I was working as a front desk clerk at the Holiday Inn in Athens, GA. He was in town to play a show, and was staying at the hotel. I only had the chance to talk to him briefly, but he was very nice.

4. I have a severe allergy to tree nuts. If I eat one, I have an anaphylatic reaction, and I've ended up in hospital ERs twice. I don't really enjoy going to restaurants, because I have to be so careful about what I'm eating.

5. I don't like to watch a movie unless I know it has a happy ending. My family has really teased me about this one!

6. The biggest fact (in more ways than one!) about me right now is that I'm pregnant at age 43. This is my 1st time ever to be pregnant, so it was quite an unexpected surprise and a little bit of a shock! Both of my children are miracles.

Now it's my turn to tag:
Sinziana
Carrie
Heather
Emily
Rob and Dede
Dana

If I tag you, here are the rules!!!
1. Link to the person that tagged you.
2. Post the rules on the blog.
3. Write six random facts about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged.
6. Let the taggers know when your entry is up.

16 months old

Eli is 16 months old today! It's hard to believe he's that old already. The time has just flown by. I went to the doctor today, and there was a woman there with a 7 week old baby boy. Every time I see a baby boy, I think about Eli at that age, and the fact that we weren't together. I wish that Eli could have been with us when he was that young. I wish we could have loved and held him every single day since he was born.

Attachment is going very well. He has been home 5 1/2 months now, and in the last 2 weeks, we've really noticed a change. He and I have built a relationship. We have gotten to know each other, and have a genuine bond now. He'll put his head on my chest and snuggle against me. When I carry him, he'll hold on to my arm. He'll cry and put his arms out for me, wanting me (and not just anyone) to hold him. Because it didn't happen instantly, I think it means more to me. It is so special.

He was so traumatized when we first brought him home, so afraid and unsure. Now his real personality has emerged, and he is an absolutely amazing boy, a true delight and joy. He is loving, gentle, mellow, smart, and overall, happy. He smiles and laughs often, and has a great sense of humor. Considering what he has been through - 3 months in the hospital and almost 8 months in the orphanage - there is no reason for him to be any of those things. God was with him, and now we feel so blessed to be his parents.

I had a 2nd ultrasound today. The doctor was concerned that the baby might be big, because my uterus measured larger than it should have. Turns out she is fine. They estimate she weighs 3 lbs 12 oz, which is 45th percentile for her weight for this stage of pregnancy. (I'm 32 weeks now.) The reason my uterus was larger is because I have more amniotic fluid. I'm still in the normal range, but at the upper end. (21, and anything over 25 is a problem). It happens when there is gestational diabetes, but I don't have that, so they're not sure what the cause is. Since I'm 43, it could just be my age. The extra fluid explains why I felt so huge for the last few weeks, and also the swelling in my feet and ankles.

My blood pressure was still low, 102/60. Otherwise, the baby is healthy, and the doctors think we're doing fine, thank God.

Most of today's ultrasound was done in the regular 2D, but the tech did a short 3D segment at the end of our session, and we got some fabulous pictures of our daughter's face:





She is so beautiful, and the Lord has blessed us beyond belief.

thanks, sbp

This is my 150th post! Amazing! Eli spent the day with his grandmama, and had a wonderful time playing outside and getting muddy. R and I actually went to the movies. We saw Fireproof, and it was awesome! We highly recommend it. We completely enjoyed it, especially since we hadn't been to the theater in several years. We even splurged and got popcorn, sodas, and raisinets, which we never do, and that was fun. The baby was very active during the movie. The sound was loud, and I think she was responding to that. After the movie was over, we had an early dinner of Greek food. Yummy! We had a nice Saturday.

And thanks for the card, secret blog pal! :)

post placement report #1

We had our visit with our social worker this morning. She reminded me that it had been almost a year since she came to our house for the first visit for our home study. Our lives have completely changed in a year's time!

She thought Eli was just adorable and beautiful (which he is), and she also thought he looked healthy. Normally Eli doesn't like strangers, but he didn't cry today when our s.w. talked to him. She asked her secretary to come in and see how cute he is, as well as the 2 women who work in the office next door and a man who works in an office down the hall! The proud parents didn't mind showing off our beautiful and amazing son at all either, especially since he wasn't upset by the attention as he usually is.

We were only in her office for 20 minutes. We gave her the labeled pictures, and a check for $500. That was not fun. After all the money we've already spent on his adoption, I would much rather have been able to spend that $500 on things for Eli to enjoy, and not on MORE paperwork! She gave us the information on how to file the paperwork for the domestication of foreign adoption, so we can obtain a birth certificate for him in English. She told us where to get the forms and how to file them ourselves with the family court. That will save us some $$$. She also gave us the name of a lawyer, who is familiar with the process, but I think we're going to try to do it ourselves first. She also reminded us that we need to get his social security number.

She was surprised by my pregnancy, but gave us lots of congratulations. She said the same thing had happened recently to another one of her clients. She said I looked great, which made me feel good because I've been feeling huge lately!

It feels good to have that first post placement report done and out of the way. It didn't take as much time as I expected.

Here are some of the photos from our report. He smiles so much more than he did 6 months ago.

visits to the doctor for everyone

Eli had his 15 month checkup on Tuesday. He received the Hib and the DTaP shots, and now he is caught up with his immunizations. I am so thankful that he won't need more shots for a while. It is so scary for him. He spent the 1st 3 months of his life in the hospital before he was transferred to the orphanage, and we wonder if going to the doctor reminds him of that time. He always gets so upset. He cried and cried, and didn't stop until we were almost back home.

He is doing well. He is 24.5 lbs and 32" tall. He has grown 2"! He is still around the 50% percentile for height and weight, which is fine.

Then the next day, I had my checkup. I'm 28 weeks now. The baby's heartbeat was strong and regular, and the uterus was the right size, so she's growing. She is very active now, especially at the end of the day. I am so thankful she seems healthy.

It has been challenging for me. My feet and ankles are very swollen, and I'm exhausted all the time. If the timing had been up to me, I would have chosen to be pregnant after Eli had been home for at least a year. Being pregnant for the 1st time and not feeling well physically at the same time as bringing him home and adjusting to being a new mom has been the hardest thing I have ever done. When we started our adoption process, I had a different vision of our 1st months at home. The only thing that has gotten me through is the knowledge that this is God's plan, and I trust that He knows what is ultimately best for us. Right now, I don't know why this was His plan, but someday I will fully understand why things happened this way.

Then R goes to the doctor next week, and hopefully, his checkup will go well too.

15 months old

Our Eli is 15 months old today!

This past Thursday (Aug. 28) was R's birthday, his first as a father. Since he had to work, we just had a nice celebration at home. It also marked 1 year since Eli entered the orphanage in Kolomna. We hate that he had to spend 8 months there before we were able to bring him home. We are so thankful to God that he is no longer there, and that he is safely home with us.

We have been home for 4 months now (as of Aug. 22), and he continues to adjust. Some of my favorite moments are when he laughs (he has an amazing laugh) and when he puts his head on my chest for a snuggle. He'll only do that for a few seconds at a time, but he is initiating it, and that is so huge. We love our precious boy so much!

He's been walking for 6 weeks now. His balance is much better.

Love that smile!

Playing with Daddy

The Karen Katz books (with the flaps to lift) are his favorites right now.

This flag that was flown over the capitol the day we came home from Russia and he became a citizen, April 22. (I'm so glad that I requested it from our congressman's office.) We ordered the case, and I love how it turned out. We put it in his room, and it looks so good.

He has started using a spoon to feed himself, which is right on target for his age. And notice, he's using his left hand. Our son is left-handed!

1st taste of chocolate cake!
We were celebrating my sister Allison's birthday. He seemed to like it ok, but wasn't crazy about it.

slavic gospel association

Normally, I don't post anything political to this blog, but in this case, I decided to make an exception. This evening, I received an email from the Slavic Gospel Association regarding the conflict in S. Ossetia.

(We have been supporting SGA for the last year. I was originally drawn to them because of the work they do in orphanages. We wanted to do something to help the children who would be remaining in Russia and who would not have a family. )

Here is more information on the SGA's aid efforts in the region if you are interested.

attachment progress

This afternoon, we had a family trip to Walmart. Eli was riding in the cart, and R was pushing. Eli enjoys the cart as long as you keep moving at all times and don't stop to look at anything! We tried to keep the trip brief, but by the time we were almost finished shopping, Eli was definitely ready to go. He started fussing, and then crying.

The best part was that he wanted me to take him out of the cart and hold him. He reached for me! I took him out of the cart and held him, and he actually stopped crying! He let me console him! I was so happy! It just made my day to know that he is starting to feel comfortable enough that I can be source of comfort to him. YAY!!!

6 months

6 months ago, on Feb. 11, 2008, we met our beloved Eli for the 1st time. It was cold in Moscow. Anton drove us to the MOE, and we received our referral. When we realized that Eli was born on our wedding anniversary, we knew before we even saw him that it was God's plan for him to become our son. We are so blessed to have him in our lives, and we love him so very much.

This is the 1st picture taken of the 2 of us together.